Hamlet and other thoughts....

"This above all,--to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." William Shakespeare in Hamlet

I just came from parent teacher interviews and enjoyed a great discussion with the boys' english teacher about both their strengths and weaknesses. We ended up also discussing the fact that Carlin's class will be studying Hamlet next, and how people seem to either really enjoy Shakespeare - or not. I remember loving Hamlet, getting absorbed in the story and enjoying the rich imagery in the writing. This lead me to remember the above quote, which is well known and often quoted. But, like any well-known quote, the power of the meaning often is lost in its familiarity.

The reason this stood out for me at this time, is that there are a few situations in my life where I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to just simply be true to myself. I keep hoping other people will see the situation the way that I do, but in the end I can't make that happen. What I can do, is honour the values and truths within myself, which I believe to be God given, and act on those. I know in my heart-of-hearts what is true for me in those situations, and I need to give myself the gift of honouring that. I need to also believe in myself enough to know that whether anyone else believes in me or not is not what is important. What is important is that there is a God who loves me and wants what is best for me, and that he has called me to love myself enough to act on what I know to be best for me. How freeing it feels to finally come to this conclusion.

Thank you Shakespeare! Who would have thought remembering an old quote from high school english, and having it brought back to my attention by my son's high school english teacher would be so powerful. You never know what blessings are around the corner.... :-)

"Don't Say Anything 'Til I Finish 'Kay?"

These are the now infamous words of our (almost) 13 (going on 25) year old daughter. Everytime she knows she is asking for something that will likely get a "no" in response, she starts by saying, "don't say anything 'til I finish, 'kay?" So, what would any loving, responsible mother do? I humour her and listen... then I say "no" and the reason why. Cracks me up... oh the infallible logic of the thirteen year old brain! Does she think that one statement will magically make me change my mind? Hehehe... oh well, you gotta give the girl credit for trying. She is persistent... and I love her. <3

"Four Boyfriends" Analogy

This analogy was posted by a co-worker of mine, and I thought it was very interesting food for thought:

"Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends. She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best. She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another. She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times. The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him! One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, will I be a alone.' Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company? 'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart. The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold .She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated. Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!' In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives: Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die. Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others. Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave. And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity. Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray. "

How true it is that our spiritual lives often get put on the back burner in pursuit of all the other things we distracted by in life. Something to think about...

Let Mercy Lead

There have been many great lyricists in the world... but two of my all-time favorites have been Bono and Rich Mullins. Reading the lyrics written by those two men is reading poetry. One of my favorite lyrics of all time comes from the song "Let Mercy Lead" by Rich Mullins. Truth be told, I think the lyrics were either written or co-written by Rich's band member, Beaker. But, I think they collaborated on it. This lyric is:

"Let mercy lead, let love be the strength in your legs... and in every footprint that you leave there will be a drop of grace."

It doesn't seem to matter how many times I listen to that song, or read that lyric. It seems to stop me in my tracks every time. Such an amazing way to look at relationships and life in general.

Music and Mood

I was thinking a lot about the impact music has in my life. I know that after a long day, there is nothing that calms and soothes me like the music I choose to play on my drive home. I know that when I am feeling unmotivated, there is nothing that inspires me like music. I found a lot of interesting information online, but one aritcle stoood out as very interesting to me. I found it at

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/03/seven-ways-music-influences-mood.php

Here is an excerpt:

"Good music has direct access to the emotions. As such it's a fantastic tool for tweaking our moods. Saarikallio and Erkkila (2007) investigated the ways people use music to control and improve their mood by interviewing eight adolescents from Finland. The participants may be a small, very specific group, but they actually present a really useful list:
1. Entertainment - At the most fundamental level music provides stimulation. It lifts the mood before going out, it passes the time while doing the washing up, it accompanies travelling, reading and surfing the web.
2. Revival - Music revitalises in the morning and calms in the evening.
3. Strong sensation - Music can provide deep, thrilling emotional experiences, particularly while performing.
4. Diversion - Music distracts the mind from unpleasant thoughts which can easily fill the silence.
5. Discharge - Music matching deep moods can release emotions: purging and cleansing.
6. Mental work - Music encourages daydreaming, sliding into old memories, exploring the past.
7. Solace - Shared emotion, shared experience, a connection to someone lost.
These seven strategies all aim for two goals: controlling and improving mood. One of the beauties of music is it can accomplish more than one goal at a time. Uplifting music can both divert, entertain and revive. Sad, soulful music can provide solace, encourage mental work and discharge emotions. The examples are endless.
Many of Saarikallio and Erkkila's findings chime with previous research. For example, distraction is considered one of the most effective strategies for regulating mood. Music has also been strongly connected with reflective states. These tend to allow us greater understanding of our emotions. "

I know that I can relate to all of these experiences. The songs that I have added to the playlist on this blog are some of the ones that have these effects on me. I just know my life is so much richer for having music in it.

I also read a lot of interesting articles about how music can increase intelligence and enhance brain development for infants from conception through the first few years of life. Fascinating...

I would be interested to hear other people's thoughts about this and/or particular songs that are meaningful fo you...

On my way home from work today...

... I was following a plumbing service van with the slogan "A Flush Beats a Full House!" on it. It gave me a chuckle. Then, wouldn't you know it... we had a toilet overflow at home tonight! *sigh* Oh well, time for a nice glass of wine after that clean up job!

The Kindness of (American) Strangers

We just had a wonderful vacation to Las Vegas and southern California. It was a bit of a sudden decision, but ended up being absolutely worth it! As a family, we have travelled in the United States quite a bit. In 2002 we drove from Lethbridge, Alberta to Washington D.C. and New York City and back. In 2003 we drove to Reno, Nevada and back over the Oregon coast. And, as is true of many Albertans, we have been known to make trips to Whitefish and Kallispell in Montana. In all of our travels, we have had such positive experiences with meeting people! It has often bothered me to hear Canadians make generalizations about Americans that are very negative and often derogatory. I don't like any particular group of people to be stereotyped or denigrated ( I am a social worker, after all!) but this one has always bothered me a lot. I think it is because the people that I have noticed doing this often surprise me. They are often people who are quite open minded and accepting in many other ways, but for some reason have developed a prejudice in this area.... Anyway, it bugs me. So, I thought it would be good to share the positive experiences we had on this particular trip.

The "random acts of American kindness" started very shortly into our trip. We flew out of Great Falls, Montana to go to Las Vegas. We made a quick stop in Shelby, Montana on the way to Great Falls. While there, the clerk at the gas station gave us free food! For no particular reason, she told Darrin that she noticed our boys and that she has to throw the taquitos out every two hours anyway, so would we like them? Ummm... we have teenage boys.... duh! Oh yeah, they gratefully devoured them! We had a very delayed flight out of Great Falls and the staff at the airport was very kind, accommodating and helpful. It was beyond their control, but they tried to help us be as comfortable as possible while we awaited our flight and they kept giving us updates so we could know what to expect. This was the first time we noticed being called "sweetie", "honey", or "sunshine" by a waitress, which then became something we experienced from waitresses, store clerks, etc. throughout Vegas and California. My kids thought that was pretty cool.

We arrived very late (3:30 a.m.) in Las Vegas to pick up our car rental. We had booked a mid-sized sedan for the trip. The young guy who was working that night seemed to take pity on these exhausted travellers and gave us an upgrade to a very cool yellow jeep at no extra cost!Darrin was thrilled! After leaving the -30 degree temperatures behind in Canada, the thought of driving across the desert or along the California coast in a yellow jeep with the top down was perfect!

After driving from Vegas to Carlsbad, California to meet my parents, we had some time to consider what sights to see there. On our first day, we were sitting in a Jack-in-a-Box restaurant (you know you have to have the experience of American restaurants while there...) discussing our options. We were discussing Sea World as one of the options. A man standing near our table waiting for his order approached us and told us he works at Sea World part time and was wondering if we would like some complimentary tickets? Again... ummm.... duh! Would we? Of course! No strings attached, this fellow just gave them to us! Those tickets are worth $65 US each! So, we went to Sea World, and it was a great day! The lady at the ticket booth when we purchased the two remaining tickets we needed also asked us if were were AMA members, so we could get an extra discount. She didn't need to give us that information, she just did. It was a great experience.

We spent a few days with my parents and enjoyed the California coast. We drove back in the yellow jeep back across the desert and back to Vegas before flying home. Everywhere we went, people would say "hello" on the streets, speak in friendly tones, ask us where we were from, and of course call us "sweetie" or "honey". It was refreshing, and well... nice. :-) As glad as I am to be home, I will always remember those experiences and appreciate the kindness of some (American) strangers.