The Power of Tears

I came across this poem the other day while reading a post by a friend of mine. I found it to be such a wonderful expression of the healing nature of tears and why it is important that we honor our emotions and allow them to be expressed.

~Yesterday I cried ~

I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes,
unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired,
or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored,
disrespected, and
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given,
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away,
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does
come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy
who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there
for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt.
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday,
and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
Because Yesterday,
I cried with an agenda.
(Iyanla Vanzant,
from her book Yesterday I Cried:
Celebrating the Lessons of Living
and Loving)

A Different Street

I walk down the street.


There is a hole.

I don't see it.

I fall in.

It isn't my fault.

It takes a very long time to get out.



I walk down the same street.

There is still a deep hole.

I pretend not to see it.

I fall in.

I pretend it's still not my fault.

It takes a long time to get out.



I walk down the same street.

There is still the same deep hole.

I see it.

I fall in anyway.

It's a habit.

I get out quicker this time.



I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole.

I see it.

I walk around it.

I don't fall in.



I walk down a different street.



-- Portia Nelson

The Stockdale Paradox

A very wise person I have come to respect often refers to something called "The Stockdale Paradox" as an approach to dealing with difficult circumstances in life.

The Stockdale paradox refers to Admiral Jim Stockdale, who was the highest ranking United States military officer in the “Hanoi Hilton” prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam War. Tortured over 20 times during his eight-year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973… in Jim Collins book “Good to Great” chapter 4 page 83 he is quoting Stockdale saying:

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

In learning about this, I have realized that faith and discipline must go hand in hand. Too often in my life in the past, I relied on the faith and optimism that is natural to me in my personality.

But, I did not always do what was needed to confront brutal facts and take action in face of those brutal facts. Now, I do. But I do so without losing that faith, that belief that I will prevail in the end. I will. With my head held high and peace in my heart, I will.