Christmas Traditions

We finally got our tree decorated!  Woohoo!  We wanted to wait until Carlin was home to do it.  It has always been a tradition for our family to decorate the tree all together.  Since this is the first year we have launched one of the kids out of "the nest", we didn't want to lose that tradition yet.  It was so nice to have Carlin home for a few days this week while he was studying for finals.  We put the Christmas music on and did it together, just like we have always done since they were little.

I was asking the kids about what they remember about our Christmas traditions.  They remember that when they were little, after we would decorate the tree, we would shut off all the lights and watch the patterns the flickering lights on the tree made on the ceiling.  They also remember late night services at Sacred Heart and lighting the advent wreath.  We also have made a habit of watching "It's a Wonderful Life" on Christmas Eve.  When the kids were little, Darrin used to say, "What's George Bailey gonna do, kids?"  So now they tease him with that before he can get it out.  But, what surprised me is that the most consistent memory they have is how every Christmas morning Dad makes them wait as long as possible to open presents by sleeping in.  They know he is teasing them, and that he is getting great enjoyment in pretending to be sooooo tired for as looooooong as possible, but they always get right into the spirit of nagging and bugging him until he finally gets up.  Then, he has to have his cup of coffee, take his time, etc.   It's in the Parkin blood to love to tease you know, and what better time than Christmas morning?

Those are the little things that bind a family together and are so precious that they are easy to take for granted.  This Christmas, it is my commitment to myself to not take one small, precious moment for granted.... but to savour each and every one.....

My Favorite Narnia Scene

I have always loved the Chronicles of Narnia.  I started reading them to the kids when they were little, and since they are teenagers now, we haven't don that for a long time.  I was hit by a wave of nostalgia today, as I saw them sitting on the bookshelf and decided to flip through.  I immediately picked up the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, because it is my favorite book of the series.  Then, I had to find my all-time favorite scene.  For those of you familiar with the stories, you may remember that annoying, spoiled, selfish Eustace gets turned into a dragon at one point in this story.  This experience changes him forever, and helps him grow up and personally mature and become a much more likable person!  I've decided to actually post the  section when he is turned back into a boy, because .... well, I just love it.....and it is meaningful to me for lots of reasons.  It is long, so indulge me if you want, and don't read it if you don't want....*shrug*   IMHO, it is well worth the read.  The scene begins with Eustace telling his cousin Edmund how he came to be changed back into a boy after being a dragon:

"Well, anyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly towards me.  And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was.  So it came nearer and nearer.  I was terribly afraid of it.  You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough.  But it wasn't that kind of fear.  I wasn't afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it - if you can understand.  Well, it came closer up to me and looked straight into my eyes.  And I shut my eyes tight.  But that wasn't any good because it told me to follow it."
"You mean it spoke?"
"I don't know.  Now that you mention it, I don't think it did.  But it told me all the same.  And I knew I'd have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it.  And it led me a long way into the mountains.  And there was always this moonlight over and around the lion wherever we went.  So at last we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden - trees and fruit and everything.  In the middle of it there was a well.
"I know it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells - like a very big, round bath with marble steps going down into it.  The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could go in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg.  But the lion told me I must undress first.  Mind you, I don't know if he said any words out loud or not.
"I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I handn't any clothes on when I suddenly though that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins.  Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means.  So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place.  And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana.  In a minute or two I just stepped out of it.  I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty.  It was a most lovely feeling.  so I started to go down into the well for my bathe.
"But just as I was going to put my foot into the water I looked down and saw that it was all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as it had been before.  Oh, that's alright, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too.  So I scratched and tore again and this under skin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.
"Well, exactly the same ting happened again.  And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg.  So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it.  but as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.
"Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - You will have to let me undress you. I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now.  So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.
"The very first tear he made was so deep thhat I thought it had gone right into my heart.  And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt.  The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off.  You know - if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place.  It hurts lke billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away."
"I know exactly what you mean," said Edmund.
"Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I though  I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been.  And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been.  Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on- and threw me into the water.  It smarted like anything but only for a moment.  After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm.  And then I saw why.  I'd turned into a boy again.  You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms.  I know they've no  muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's but I was so glad to see them.
"After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me -"
"Dressed you. With his paws?"
"Well I don't exactly remember that bit." but he did somehow or other: in new clothes - the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact.  And then suddently I was back here.  Which is what makes me think it must have been a dream."
"No. It wasn't a dream," said Edmund.
"Why not?"
"Well, there are the cloethes, for one thing.  And you have been - well, un-dragoned, for another."
"What do you think it was, then?" asked Eustace.
"I think you've seen Aslan," said Edmund.

I am not going to go into a lengthy explanation of why that scene is so powerful to me, but would love to hear other's comments.  It gives me hope, yet reflects what is real.  That's my kind of story.

"Mom, what should I eat?"

Since cereal seems to be a favorite snack in my house, no matter what time of day or no matter how many times I have tried to restrict its consumption....       I thought this flow chart was perfect for those "ever so important"  questions I hear on a daily basis:   "Mom, what should I eat?"  or    "Mom, I'm hungry... what's in the house to eat?"   Now, I can simply refer to this handy-dandy little chart..... lol  (By the way, if you just click on the image to the left you will get an enlarged version that you can actually read!)

"Destiny's Pub"

Darrin and I are so proud of Carlin, who recently had his short story published in a book published by Young Writers of Canada, called Dreamscapes. Carlin gave me permission to put his story on this blog:

"Did I ever tell you about the time that old Nelson McNealy made his own homemade bio fuel? I finally was right, after years of telling him his truck was full of s---!" The crowd of regulars let out a hearty laugh. Kenneth Wallace leaned back and drained the last dregs of his ale. It was a good day. The sun was in the sky, a gentle breeze glided through the front door, making the air at the Orkney Pub a little less stuffy, and both Ken and the regulars were too drunk to notice that everyone heard the bio fuel joke on a regular basis. Ken always felt at home in this pub, surrounded by a "support group" of middle-aged Scots. They all shared the same mentality that they had fallen into the rat trap of boring, everyday life. Some blamed their wives, some blamed their parents, and some blamed the same alcohol that was knocking down their social inhibitions and freeing them to talk about it. It was in this environment that Ken realized he wasn't alone in his regrets. His father had spent most of his time in this very pub, telling jokes and reminiscing. Ken hadn't seen much of his dad, even in the moments when he had needed a father figure the most.

Ken had vowed that he would be an involved father. He would right his father's wrongs. Yet here he was at thirty-two, with young impressionable children who barely knew him, and an uncanny resemblance to his father. Despite all his fear, he had become his father.

Ken turned to his old friend Duncan. "Have you ever felt like you had no other option than to become what you are? Like it was your destiny?"

Duncan turned. "Well, I don't exactly know, Ken, but Angus over there believes in destiny, and that in itself was a choice."

Ken looked out the window on the quaint little town he called home. He couldn't pinpoint a choice that made him who he was, but he could make a choice now.

That day, he left unfinished ale on the counter.

written by Carlin Parkin at age 17.

The Older I get, The Less I know...

In working with people, and often in experiences in my own life, I am struck by circumstances in which there do not seem to be clear answers. We wonder why some people have had to endure certain circumstances, or others seem to never catch a break. We wonder why children get cancer, or evil acts are committed against innocent people. We wonder why we experience circumstances in our own lives that don't make sense and are not fair. I used to always look for the "why's" in life. I used to want the answers. Sometimes I still do. The not understanding or being able to make sense of things is unsettling at best, and devestating at worst.

But... I have realized that the older I get, the less I know. Sometimes there are not answers that make sense or that are satisfying. Platitudes and cliches don't cut it when people are in emotional pain. Maybe there are answers, but they are just outside the reach of our limited human brains... I don't know. But, that's just the point: I don't know.

Here is what I do know. It's not much.. but it's enough for me. I believe there is a God who loves me. And, I believe he gives me a gift in each moment I am alive. I am trying to live in each moment, and see it as a gift. Really, that's all we ever have. We are never guaranteed another moment past the one we are presently in. When you recognize each moment as a gift, the answers don't seem quite so pressing.

So... I just breathe....and live....and love, to the best of my limited ability. That's all I know.

A great thought for Thanksgiving:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beatty

To Brighten Your Day... :-)

A little something for you if you need some encouragement today...

www.blessyoumovie.com

It is my wish for you... :-)

Kids' Rock by Tim Hawkins

Darrin and I discovered the comedy of Tim Hawkins a couple of years ago.... love it! This has got to be my all time fave.... cracks me up every time... fer shizzle dizzle yo!

What to do with all your post-it notes!

very cool.... how does someone find the time to do this???

I found this on stumbleupon.com and got a real "kick" out of it.... haha.... I know, lame joke but I couldn't help it... =D

Sand Dancer

This is amazing. Pause the music player to the right so you can watch this clip. Unbelievable gift this man has.... inspiring!

A Perfect Moment

You know how every so often you have a moment in life where everything just seems right and you want to capture it and make it last? I love those moments. It seems like they don't happen often enough... which is why I want to write about this one. On Sunday, we were in the Pass for two lacrosse games. We had dropped Brett off to get dressed and warm up for his game and we had some time to kill before the game started. We drove to the Tim Horton's, grabbed a coffee and just drove around for awhile. The weather was warm and sunny, the windows rolled down, good tunes playing, hot coffee... and no rush. I know it is such a small, simple moment, but in that moment I was perfectly happy. And, I think that is worth celebrating.

A "Once in a Lifetime" Opportunity!

We spent the entire long weekend in Calgary for the Canadian Open - a nation-wide volleyball tournament for both boys and girls U15 and U16. So, basically, we were in the Olympic Oval at the University of Calgary with thousands of teenagers.

I believe there were 22 courts going at the same time... it was unbelievable! This photo was taken during an early morning game, so the scene is not nearly as busy as it was at other times of the day. But, I think you get the picture.... absolutely amazing!

This was definitely a "once in a lifetime" opportunity for Brett... to participate in a national sports competition like this, competing against teams from all over the country, at 14 years old.... how many people can say they did that?

Here is a shot of Brett jumping up for a hit. He is number 4 at the net. He played for the Lethbridge Volleyball Club and they were called the LVC Heat. He played with a great group of boys and learned so much this season. Brett's ability to anticipate plays and score important points for the team improved so much over the season. He has the height and strength to hit that ball, and it was beautiful to watch! They played some high calibre teams at nationals and did really well! They ended up winning silver for tier 3. I am very proud of Brett and the whole team!

I am also very proud of Darrin, who was the assistant coach for this team. I watched all season as he spent one on one time with these boys, getting to know their individual strengths and weaknesses, and learning how each of them responded best to learning. I watched him not only teach, but mentor these boys. The team would not have been the same without his influence, and I know that he made a huge difference.

Let me just sum it up by saying I was a pretty proud mom and wife this past weekend! :-)

I have some pretty heavy things on my mind today, which makes it hard to find peace. I decided to look at the daily readings from the liturgical calendar. Admittedly, I have not done this for awhile, although I used to find the daily readings a source of much strength and comfort. I am glad I chose to do it today. Today's psalm is one that I have often turned to at other challenging times in my life, and once again, it has brought me comfort:


Psalm 71
1 In you, O LORD, have I taken refuge;
*let me never be ashamed.
2 In your righteousness, deliver me and set me free;
*incline your ear to me and save me.
3 Be my strong rock, a castle to keep me safe;
*you are my crag and my stronghold.
4 Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
*from of the clutches of the evildoer and the oppressor.
5 For you are my hope, O LORD God,
*my confidence since I was young.
6 I have been sustained by you ever since I was born;from my mother's womb you have been my strength;
*my praise shall be always of you.
7 I have become a portent to many;
*but you are my refuge and my strength.
8 Let my mouth be full of your praise
*and your glory all the day long. ...

...17 O God, you have taught me since I was young,
*and to this day I tell of your wonderful works....

...19 Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the heavens;
*you have done great things;who is like you, O God?
20 You have showed me great troubles and adversities,
*but you will restore my life and bring me up again from the deep places of the earth.
21 You strengthen me more and more;
*you enfold and comfort me,
22 Therefore I will praise you upon the lyre for your faithfulness, O my God;
*I will sing to you with the harp, O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will sing with joy when I play to you,
*and so will my soul, which you have redeemed. ...

I am so eternally grateful that I was raised in a home that was rooted in a deep, strong faith that shaped and molded me, day by day, to be the woman I am today. I have known the love of my Creator all of my life, and I have my parents to thank for that. Although I have struggled with my own faith journey, as most of us do, I have learned that in my heart-of hearts that deep, abiding faith is still there. Life brings us many things that we cannot change or control, and that is sometimes scarey and overwhelming. And, those are the times when we most need to let go, and trust a loving God. That is most definitely not always easy, at least not for me. But, when that is what is left, we often find out it is more than enough. And, I am grateful.

The Best Mother's Day Gift Ever

I have teenage boys. Teenage boys don't necessarily make days like Mother's Day the biggest priority in their lives... lol. I was prepared for that. So, of course their dad had to remind them what day it was on Sunday. But, I have to give Carlin a lot of credit... once he was reminded, he did the most amazing thing! He knows I am a John Mayer fan. He took the song "Daughters" by John Mayer and re-wrote the lyrics and then sang it for me. Here are the lyrics that he wrote:

I have a mom

She's the inspiration for this song

She stays the same,

while I just continually change

She's given all she can,

to give me a helping hand

And I begin to see,

how much she deeply loves me

So son's be good to your mothers

Mothers will love like you do

Sons become lovers, turn into fathers

So father's be good to your mothers too.

I cried. I was very touched. The effort he put into that.... well, I don't even have words to describe how meaningful that was to me. Truly the best Mother's Day gift ever!

On that note, I want to take a moment to acknowledge my Mom. I know that who I am today was largely shaped by her. All my life, I have known I was loved. I have such great memories of family time together and my Mom laughing, swimming with us, going for walks with us, playing with the dog, etc. I also learned, by example, the importance of service to others and caring for those around us. My mom has always had a very special ability to bond with babies and animals, and I know it is because they can sense her genuine love for them. She has always gotten down on the floor to play with her grandchildren, and when they are around, nothing else matters. My mom loves with a gentleness, yet fierceness at the same time. I am blessed to have her for a mother and a role model in my life. I love you Mom!

Birthday Wishes for My Man :-)

Here is Darrin in 1988 when we were first dating. Wasn't he a hottie? ;-) He still is!

I am so thankful to God that after twenty-two years together, almost nineteen years of marriage, three amazing kids and a lifetime of experiences (good, bad, and everything in between) that we still love each other and have fun together. Life is not always easy, but we've always had each other.

Darrin, your gifts of wisdom, teaching and meeting people where they are at have blessed so many, and I am so proud of you! You have taught me so much over the years, and I am still always learning more and more from you. Thank you for being such a good husband and dad. Thank you for always finding ways to make me laugh and look at the lighter side of life. I love you always and wish you an amazing birthday. It is my prayer that the many ways you bless others comes back to you and then some....

Happy Birthday Sierra!

My baby is 13 today! It so hard to believe! I am so proud of my girl! She is smart, creative, artistic, loving and accepting of everyone. She has a very big heart and is always wanting to make sure people feel included and loved. When I think about who I was at 13, I am amazed at the self-confidence and inner strength my daughter has already at her age. I know she will do well in life, and the people she will have in her life will be very blessed! I thank God for the gift of this girl, who she is, who she will become, and the many ways she will live out her calling throughout her life. She has brought many blessings to our family (even if her brothers don't always see it that way... hehe!)

Sierra, be blessed today... may you be surrounded and filled with love and joy! Your Dad and I love you more than you can imagine.

Hamlet and other thoughts....

"This above all,--to thine own self be true; and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." William Shakespeare in Hamlet

I just came from parent teacher interviews and enjoyed a great discussion with the boys' english teacher about both their strengths and weaknesses. We ended up also discussing the fact that Carlin's class will be studying Hamlet next, and how people seem to either really enjoy Shakespeare - or not. I remember loving Hamlet, getting absorbed in the story and enjoying the rich imagery in the writing. This lead me to remember the above quote, which is well known and often quoted. But, like any well-known quote, the power of the meaning often is lost in its familiarity.

The reason this stood out for me at this time, is that there are a few situations in my life where I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to just simply be true to myself. I keep hoping other people will see the situation the way that I do, but in the end I can't make that happen. What I can do, is honour the values and truths within myself, which I believe to be God given, and act on those. I know in my heart-of-hearts what is true for me in those situations, and I need to give myself the gift of honouring that. I need to also believe in myself enough to know that whether anyone else believes in me or not is not what is important. What is important is that there is a God who loves me and wants what is best for me, and that he has called me to love myself enough to act on what I know to be best for me. How freeing it feels to finally come to this conclusion.

Thank you Shakespeare! Who would have thought remembering an old quote from high school english, and having it brought back to my attention by my son's high school english teacher would be so powerful. You never know what blessings are around the corner.... :-)

"Don't Say Anything 'Til I Finish 'Kay?"

These are the now infamous words of our (almost) 13 (going on 25) year old daughter. Everytime she knows she is asking for something that will likely get a "no" in response, she starts by saying, "don't say anything 'til I finish, 'kay?" So, what would any loving, responsible mother do? I humour her and listen... then I say "no" and the reason why. Cracks me up... oh the infallible logic of the thirteen year old brain! Does she think that one statement will magically make me change my mind? Hehehe... oh well, you gotta give the girl credit for trying. She is persistent... and I love her. <3

"Four Boyfriends" Analogy

This analogy was posted by a co-worker of mine, and I thought it was very interesting food for thought:

"Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends. She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best. She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another. She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times. The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him! One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, will I be a alone.' Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company? 'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart. The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold .She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated. Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!' In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives: Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die. Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others. Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave. And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity. Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray. "

How true it is that our spiritual lives often get put on the back burner in pursuit of all the other things we distracted by in life. Something to think about...

Let Mercy Lead

There have been many great lyricists in the world... but two of my all-time favorites have been Bono and Rich Mullins. Reading the lyrics written by those two men is reading poetry. One of my favorite lyrics of all time comes from the song "Let Mercy Lead" by Rich Mullins. Truth be told, I think the lyrics were either written or co-written by Rich's band member, Beaker. But, I think they collaborated on it. This lyric is:

"Let mercy lead, let love be the strength in your legs... and in every footprint that you leave there will be a drop of grace."

It doesn't seem to matter how many times I listen to that song, or read that lyric. It seems to stop me in my tracks every time. Such an amazing way to look at relationships and life in general.

Music and Mood

I was thinking a lot about the impact music has in my life. I know that after a long day, there is nothing that calms and soothes me like the music I choose to play on my drive home. I know that when I am feeling unmotivated, there is nothing that inspires me like music. I found a lot of interesting information online, but one aritcle stoood out as very interesting to me. I found it at

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/03/seven-ways-music-influences-mood.php

Here is an excerpt:

"Good music has direct access to the emotions. As such it's a fantastic tool for tweaking our moods. Saarikallio and Erkkila (2007) investigated the ways people use music to control and improve their mood by interviewing eight adolescents from Finland. The participants may be a small, very specific group, but they actually present a really useful list:
1. Entertainment - At the most fundamental level music provides stimulation. It lifts the mood before going out, it passes the time while doing the washing up, it accompanies travelling, reading and surfing the web.
2. Revival - Music revitalises in the morning and calms in the evening.
3. Strong sensation - Music can provide deep, thrilling emotional experiences, particularly while performing.
4. Diversion - Music distracts the mind from unpleasant thoughts which can easily fill the silence.
5. Discharge - Music matching deep moods can release emotions: purging and cleansing.
6. Mental work - Music encourages daydreaming, sliding into old memories, exploring the past.
7. Solace - Shared emotion, shared experience, a connection to someone lost.
These seven strategies all aim for two goals: controlling and improving mood. One of the beauties of music is it can accomplish more than one goal at a time. Uplifting music can both divert, entertain and revive. Sad, soulful music can provide solace, encourage mental work and discharge emotions. The examples are endless.
Many of Saarikallio and Erkkila's findings chime with previous research. For example, distraction is considered one of the most effective strategies for regulating mood. Music has also been strongly connected with reflective states. These tend to allow us greater understanding of our emotions. "

I know that I can relate to all of these experiences. The songs that I have added to the playlist on this blog are some of the ones that have these effects on me. I just know my life is so much richer for having music in it.

I also read a lot of interesting articles about how music can increase intelligence and enhance brain development for infants from conception through the first few years of life. Fascinating...

I would be interested to hear other people's thoughts about this and/or particular songs that are meaningful fo you...

On my way home from work today...

... I was following a plumbing service van with the slogan "A Flush Beats a Full House!" on it. It gave me a chuckle. Then, wouldn't you know it... we had a toilet overflow at home tonight! *sigh* Oh well, time for a nice glass of wine after that clean up job!

The Kindness of (American) Strangers

We just had a wonderful vacation to Las Vegas and southern California. It was a bit of a sudden decision, but ended up being absolutely worth it! As a family, we have travelled in the United States quite a bit. In 2002 we drove from Lethbridge, Alberta to Washington D.C. and New York City and back. In 2003 we drove to Reno, Nevada and back over the Oregon coast. And, as is true of many Albertans, we have been known to make trips to Whitefish and Kallispell in Montana. In all of our travels, we have had such positive experiences with meeting people! It has often bothered me to hear Canadians make generalizations about Americans that are very negative and often derogatory. I don't like any particular group of people to be stereotyped or denigrated ( I am a social worker, after all!) but this one has always bothered me a lot. I think it is because the people that I have noticed doing this often surprise me. They are often people who are quite open minded and accepting in many other ways, but for some reason have developed a prejudice in this area.... Anyway, it bugs me. So, I thought it would be good to share the positive experiences we had on this particular trip.

The "random acts of American kindness" started very shortly into our trip. We flew out of Great Falls, Montana to go to Las Vegas. We made a quick stop in Shelby, Montana on the way to Great Falls. While there, the clerk at the gas station gave us free food! For no particular reason, she told Darrin that she noticed our boys and that she has to throw the taquitos out every two hours anyway, so would we like them? Ummm... we have teenage boys.... duh! Oh yeah, they gratefully devoured them! We had a very delayed flight out of Great Falls and the staff at the airport was very kind, accommodating and helpful. It was beyond their control, but they tried to help us be as comfortable as possible while we awaited our flight and they kept giving us updates so we could know what to expect. This was the first time we noticed being called "sweetie", "honey", or "sunshine" by a waitress, which then became something we experienced from waitresses, store clerks, etc. throughout Vegas and California. My kids thought that was pretty cool.

We arrived very late (3:30 a.m.) in Las Vegas to pick up our car rental. We had booked a mid-sized sedan for the trip. The young guy who was working that night seemed to take pity on these exhausted travellers and gave us an upgrade to a very cool yellow jeep at no extra cost!Darrin was thrilled! After leaving the -30 degree temperatures behind in Canada, the thought of driving across the desert or along the California coast in a yellow jeep with the top down was perfect!

After driving from Vegas to Carlsbad, California to meet my parents, we had some time to consider what sights to see there. On our first day, we were sitting in a Jack-in-a-Box restaurant (you know you have to have the experience of American restaurants while there...) discussing our options. We were discussing Sea World as one of the options. A man standing near our table waiting for his order approached us and told us he works at Sea World part time and was wondering if we would like some complimentary tickets? Again... ummm.... duh! Would we? Of course! No strings attached, this fellow just gave them to us! Those tickets are worth $65 US each! So, we went to Sea World, and it was a great day! The lady at the ticket booth when we purchased the two remaining tickets we needed also asked us if were were AMA members, so we could get an extra discount. She didn't need to give us that information, she just did. It was a great experience.

We spent a few days with my parents and enjoyed the California coast. We drove back in the yellow jeep back across the desert and back to Vegas before flying home. Everywhere we went, people would say "hello" on the streets, speak in friendly tones, ask us where we were from, and of course call us "sweetie" or "honey". It was refreshing, and well... nice. :-) As glad as I am to be home, I will always remember those experiences and appreciate the kindness of some (American) strangers.

Tissues and Guilt

I'm sick. I have a cold. And, it is annoying. I feel like I am sitting here wallowing in tissues and guilt. I took this week off since the kids have the week off from school. I had grand plans of getting some things done around the house. Yet, here I sit, surrounded by tissues boxes, tea with honey and a good book. Hmmm..... what am I feeling guilty about? The stuff I wanted to get done will still be there when I'm better. Sure, I won't have as much time to do it, but it will get done eventually. Stuff always does. And, in the grand scheme of things, giving my body the rest it needs is a lot more important. I'm still spending time with the kids. And, I actually have time to read a good book. I may still be surounded by tissue boxes, but the guilt has just been given the boot!

Life with Dogs

The other day I was cleaning the house and getting frustrated with the amount of dog hair I was finding everywhere. It amazes me that even though our two big dogs, Murphy and Houston, are mostly outside dogs, they still can track that much hair in the house. But, as I was vacuuming and dusting, I reminded myself of all the things I love about our dogs, and realized I can't imagine life without them.

Our little guy, Chase is our oldest dog. He will be ten this fall, and he is starting to act his age. He is a bischon-shitzu. Chasey-face, the nick name our friend Arlene gave him years ago, is pretty attached to me and usually likes to be in the same room with me if I let him. Five years ago, when I had a serious back injury and was home in a lot of pain most of the time, Chase would just sit near me and rest his head on my lap. Whenever a family member is sick, or having a bad day, he has a tendency to do that. Chase is pretty grumpy with big dogs and lets them know when they are in his space or annoying him with all of their energy.


Murphy is a coon hound. I think he is about six years old now. He is a good watch dog and feels it is his mission in life to keep an eye on everyone and everything going on anywhere near our home. He chases anything that moves. He has a hound dog howl that only comes out if he hears coyotes. Murphy boy is very obedient and a great listener. If he wants attention, he comes and stands close to you and just looks at you with those big brown eyes until you figure out what he wants. If you pet him and then stop, he'll move a couple of steps closer to make sure you get the message that he wants more. He is very affectionate and protective. Murphy is most attached to Darrin. Darrin takes the big dogs to the off leash area by the river to run around. All Darrin has to say is "You want to go to the river in the truck?" and Murphy is vibrating with excitement. He loves being outside and just running.

And then there is Houston, a.k.a. "Scrub". There are varying stories about how he got the nick name Scrub. I know that Carlin and I got in the habit of turning "Houston" into "Eustace", which reminded us of Eustace Clarence Scrub in the Chronicles of Narnia. However, Darrin also remembers that we started calling him Scrub, because when we first got him he was still a puppy. Since he was a puppy, he did typical puppy things, such as chewing on people's shoes, or hiding things. When we would get frustrated with him, we would call him Scrub out of frustration.

Darrin never lets me forget the first summer we had him when I had just filled the planters on our patio with about $80.00 worth of beautiful flowers. We went to work and came home to all of them turned over, chewed on and dug up. It took me a few weeks to forgive him! (Well, acutally sooner, but I was too proud to admit it...)

Houston is lovable, not too bright, and the most sociable animal I know. He just loves and adores us - always, no matter what. He can never get enough attention, and does not like to be away from us for any longer than absolutely necessary. He will eat almost anything and lives for food and love! He is a chocolate lab and about four years old (I think) and has (thank goodness!) grown out of his puppy ways. He slobbers everywhere when he drinks, makes a mess when he eats, slobbers on us when he is being affectionate, and I cannot imagine life without him.

He is not much of a watch dog, because he would let anyone in the house as long as they either had food or love for him. Good thing Murphy is around.

It's true that these three members of our family make extra work for all of us. But, they bring so much love, joy and fun into our household that it makes it worth it. More than worth it.

But - just to clarify, Sierra and Darrin - no, we are not getting any more!

Our house is full, busy, noisy and sometimes messy thanks to these lovable creatures. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Change

I've been thinking about change. Isn't it often the case that just when you get comfortable with life, something happens to bring about a change? Sometimes this is good, and even exciting... like a move into a new house or a new job. But, sometimes it is devestating... such as a sudden, unexpected loss that takes your breath away and changes your life forever. None of us are immune to those kinds of changes and many times we have no control over whether they happen to us or not. They just happen, and we are left to figure out how to adjust and move on. Most times, change just kind of sneaks up on us, silently altering pieces of our lives in ways that we don't always notice until someone points them out to us. But, no matter how it presents itself to us, change is inevitable.

2008 was a year filled with lots of change for me. Some of it was good and even exciting. Some of it was unexpected and difficult. I would just get my head around one change that was happening in my life and then another one would present itself to me before I could even catch my breath. As I was thinking about all that had occured over the last year, I thought of one of my favorite songs by Rich Mullins called "The Breaks". The lyrics of the chorus are:

"It is the sea that makes the sailor
And the land that shapes the sea
And I do not know yet what I am made of
Or all I may someday be
It is the wood that makes a carpenter
It's the very tools of his trade
And it is the love that makes a lover
And a cross that makes a saint."

This song reminds me that it is often the changes around us that shape and mold us. Change is at the very heart of shaping of who we are becoming. We may not have control over a lot of the change that comes our way, but we do have control over how we respond to that change. We have opportunities in the midst of the waves of change to allow them to shape us in ways that strengthen and increase our capacities to grow. We can allow change to turn us into bitter, defeated people, or we can put one foot in front of the other, breathe in and out, and choose day by day to live the best life we can with what we have. I know that is not always easy, but it definitely is a choice we have. I don't know about anyone else, but I hope I can continue to respond to change in my life this way.

On Turning 40

So.... I'll be 40 in a couple of days. Weird. But, good. I remember having a bit of a "downer" with turning 30. I think it had to do with feeling a loss of my youth. Yet, the funny thing is that I don't feel that at all this time. I feel good about turning 40. I think that, for me, there are so many things I appreciate more about this stage of my life than when I turned 30. I am so much clearer about my priorities, my boundaries, and basically who I am. I am much more comfortable with who I am. I'm not nearly so concerned about what people think or whether they like me. I am so much better at figuring out when I need to say "no" to something or someone, and then actually doing it. I have also done a lot of "pruning" in my life. I have sorted out what needs to be there and what doesn't. I feel very confident in my career and I love what I do. I am at the stage now where I can still enjoy learning, but I can also help mentor and teach others. This is something I really enjoy. My family life is at a stage that has lots of benefits as well. Parenting teenagers may be more emotionally demanding than parenting little ones, but it is absolutely less physically demanding. My kids sleep in! They are pretty independent and help out around the house. There are bigger worries with what happens in the lives of teenagers, and sometimes I struggle with that. But, I have to fall back on trusting that my kids have been learning the values we have taught them and that they have the ability to make good decisions. And, I fall back on my faith. It sure helps to believe there is a loving God who is even more interested in the well being of my children than I am. The other thing about raising teenagers is that with their busy social lives, Darrin and I get more time together as well. We start to get little glimpses of what the empty nest years might be like. Although I am not anywhere near ready for that, it is nice to see that there will be things to look forward to in those years.
It's not that there are no struggles or issues at this stage of my life. Life is just full of struggles that often come at us unexpectedly. But, I'm also at a stage of my life where I find it a bit easier to see that even the struggles are ok. There is always learning in them. And, fighting them sure doesn't help or change things! Sometimes you just have to accept "what is" and focus on what you can change in a situation (which, pretty much is just yourself and how you respond to things).
Anyway, life at 40 is good. I am thankful.

Transcending: Words on Women and Strength by Kelly Corrigan

This is an amazing testimony to the strength of women and their friendships. I am so grateful to call some wonderful and very strong women friends. These women never fail to inspire me, and it gives me immeasurable comfort to know they are there for me in my life. There is a fascinating study by UCLA that was quite recent (2002 I believe) about how relationships among women significantly reduce stress in their lives. Google it if you are interested. I hope this is as encouraging for others as it is for me.

John Mayer - Heart of Life (Acoustic)

This song never fails to make me feel hopeful. The heart of life is good. I believe that. In the midst of "winter blahs" or challenges that life tends to present, it is so good to shift my perspective to remember that. For me, music has a way of creating those shifts - probably more than anything else. This song is pure musical enjoyment for me... and i just wanted to share it! :-)