The Power of Tears

I came across this poem the other day while reading a post by a friend of mine. I found it to be such a wonderful expression of the healing nature of tears and why it is important that we honor our emotions and allow them to be expressed.

~Yesterday I cried ~

I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes,
unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired,
or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored,
disrespected, and
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given,
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away,
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does
come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy
who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there
for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt.
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday,
and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
Because Yesterday,
I cried with an agenda.
(Iyanla Vanzant,
from her book Yesterday I Cried:
Celebrating the Lessons of Living
and Loving)

A Different Street

I walk down the street.


There is a hole.

I don't see it.

I fall in.

It isn't my fault.

It takes a very long time to get out.



I walk down the same street.

There is still a deep hole.

I pretend not to see it.

I fall in.

I pretend it's still not my fault.

It takes a long time to get out.



I walk down the same street.

There is still the same deep hole.

I see it.

I fall in anyway.

It's a habit.

I get out quicker this time.



I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole.

I see it.

I walk around it.

I don't fall in.



I walk down a different street.



-- Portia Nelson

The Stockdale Paradox

A very wise person I have come to respect often refers to something called "The Stockdale Paradox" as an approach to dealing with difficult circumstances in life.

The Stockdale paradox refers to Admiral Jim Stockdale, who was the highest ranking United States military officer in the “Hanoi Hilton” prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam War. Tortured over 20 times during his eight-year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973… in Jim Collins book “Good to Great” chapter 4 page 83 he is quoting Stockdale saying:

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

In learning about this, I have realized that faith and discipline must go hand in hand. Too often in my life in the past, I relied on the faith and optimism that is natural to me in my personality.

But, I did not always do what was needed to confront brutal facts and take action in face of those brutal facts. Now, I do. But I do so without losing that faith, that belief that I will prevail in the end. I will. With my head held high and peace in my heart, I will.

Evanescence - My Immortal (Live)

Refuge

"In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth" (Psalm 31:1-5). Amen.

The Meeting Place of Two Eternities

"You and I are standing this very second at the meeting-place of two eternities: the vast past that has endured for ever, and the future that is plunging on to the last syllable of recorded time. We can't possibly live in either of those eternities-no, not even for one split second. But, by trying to do so, we can wreck both our bodies and our minds. So let's be content to live the only time we can possibly live: from now until bedtime.' Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall,' wrote Robert Louis Stevenson. 'Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means.' " Dale Carnegie

May I have the strength and the wisdom to live for today, to embrace the gifts of this day and to make today all it can be.  No matter what is happening in my life, I want to choose life and love and joy.  All I can control is my choices day to day, moment to moment. God give me what I need to make the best choices I can for this day.

I still see the beauty of life all around me and I choose to embrace that.

"The Beauties of the Past"

"Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love.  It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; He doesn't fill it, but on the contrary, He keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communication with each other, even at the cost of pain. The dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the separation.  But gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy.  The beauties of the past are borne, not as a thorn in the flesh, but as a precious gift in themselves."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Just thinkin'....

“For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.”


Stuart Chase

I would imagine this quote would cause most people to think of religious beliefs. It was the first thing I thought of when I read it.  And, I think it is true in regard to religious beliefs. But, then it got me thinking....

I think that concept is true no matter what we might believe in.  Whether we believe in a person, a thought, a feeling, a value, a relationship, etc.....

As human beings, we tend to find reasons to believe what we want to believe.  We tend to look for the "proof" to back up what we want.  And, if we believe in something or someone strongly enough, we not only don't need "proof", we may even choose to overlook "proof" that would oppose our belief.

Many people make many life altering choices this way.  In reality, they are making the choices based on what they want, rather than any real "proof".

The same things hold true for when we don't want to believe something. 

Have you ever noticed that when talking to someone who has "dug in their heels" on an issue, no "proof" or logical argument will sway them?  Why is that?  You could make the most convincing argument on the face of the earth and it will make no difference. 

It is our human will.  We want what we want. If we don't want to believe in something, or someone, we just won't do it.  All the "proof" in the world won't matter.

The bottom line is that we have choices about these things.

I think we just need to be honest about our human will, longings, desires, and "wants".  If we make choices based on those things, we may be overlooking important factors we don't want to see.  That can be hard to face.

But, then again....most things that seem really important in life are usually hard.  But worth it.

"You are Safe"

What does the voice of fear


whisper to you?


Fear speaks to you


in logic and reason.


It assumes the language


of love itself.


Fear tells you,


"I want to make you safe."


Love says,


"You are safe."



Emmanuel from his book: Emmanuel's Book II

How rare and precious it is if we are blessed enough to find love in which we are truly safe.  That is true love.  And love to be treasured and protected.

I John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love cast out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.”

"Addiction is the most powerful psychic enemy of humanity's desire for God," says Gerald May in Addiction and Grace.

Addiction.  Most people think of this in terms of alcohol and drugs.  Those are powerful addictions many people battle.  But, there are so many forms of addiction that are equally powerful and hold people in equally destructive bondage.

People become addicted to their own selfish desires.  People become addicted to a chemical "rush" in their brain when they are pursuing those desires.  People become addicted to "ideas" of what they think will fix them, make them happy, create some kind of magical solution to the struggles they face.  Once that addiction takes hold, there is no logic or reason that will convince them otherwise.

Just as a person addicted to alcohol or drugs needs to abstain completely from these substances in order to be able to free themselves from the psychological, emotional, physical, and biochemical nature of the addiction, so does a person addicted to their own selfish desires.  Without completely giving oneself adequate time to be in total abstinence from these things, that person will do almost anything, including destroying themselves and others, in order to get that next "hit".

And, this, the pursuing of oneself above all else, takes that person further and further from God, from the Creator.  Placing oneself first is the opposite of what most forms of spirituality teach.  There is a reason for that.  It is spiritually unhealthy to do so.  And, it tends to lead us into self destructive choices. It ultimately destroys the desire for God, the desire to honour a power greater than oneself.

Sadly, there is no greater bondage than that.

It is my prayer today that those bound by such addictions can have the strength and support they need to remove themselves from those situations.  May we all find the courage to examine ourselves in this area and set our priorities in line with what our Creator would have us do.  Amen.

Strength

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

                                                                   Mahatma Gandhi

The Love of God

Romans 8:35-39 -" Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."



These words, from God Himself to us brings me such comfort.

I choose to see myself as God sees me.


No, I am not perfect and yes, I make mistakes.


I am learning from those mistakes and growing every day.


But, His love for me is so strong, so constant, and so tender... it brings tears to my eyes.


That love is so powerful and so strong that He does not allow ANY circumstances in our lives to get in the way of it.


And, it is that love that makes us "more than conquerors" to life's challenges. Have you thought about what that means? It is one thing to be a "conqueror". That, in and of itself is pretty cool! A conqueror has victory and overcomes. So, what does it mean to be MORE than that?

It means that we not only have victory and overcome, but that we do so with the God of the universe pouring his love out to us every single minute of every day, healing our wounded hearts and feeding our hungry souls. He is giving us the grace to fully and completely overcome and to move forward in His grace into what He has next for us in our lives.

I am choosing to see myself today as more than a conqueror! I am His child and am loved beyond measure by the King of Kings. He is with me every step of the way, and I am blessed.

The Human Spirit

A quote from a good friend of mine:

"I believe in the indomitable human spirit and the Lord Jesus who is there to lead it."

How true.

We as human beings are capable of , and do, overcome unbelievable obstacles in this journey we call life.  I see it over and over again in my work, and in my personal life.

I am so awed by the strength I see in people.

I am awed at the strength I see in myself.

A strength I know comes from Him.

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." (Psalms 18:2 NKJV)

Thursday, July 08, 2010

"When we were young, most of us loved adventure. There is something about the unknown that draws us, which is why we like stories so much. But I like to leave the theater at the end of the play, knowing that the dilemma of evil has been resolved by the characters on the stage or screen. Like Peter, Susan, Lucy, and Edmund, to find ourselves not as spectators but as central characters in the play itself is somewhat daunting. The stakes are truly high, sometimes literally life or death, and God rarely if ever yells, "Cut!" just as the dangerous or painful scene descends upon us. No stunt doubles come onto the set to take our places. Many of us feel that we have been playing these kinds of scenes ever since we were children. We wonder if the hero will ever show up to rescue us.

We would like to picture goodness as being synonymous with safety. When we think of God being good, we perhaps picture someone like Al on the popular TV program Home Improvement. He is someone who carefully plans out each task ahead of time and has all the proper tools and safety equipment in place; someone who has thought out every possible danger ahead of time and made allowances to ensure our safety as his workmate; someone who goes to bed early, gets plenty of rest, and wears flannel shirts as a mark of his reliability.

Being in partnership with God, though, often feels much more like being Mel Gibson's sidekick in the movie Lethal Weapon. In his determination to deal with the bad guy, he leaps from seventh-story balconies into swimming pools, surprised that we would have any hesitation in following after him. Like Indiana Jones's love interests in the movies, we find ourselves caught up in an adventure of heroic proportions with a God who both seduces us with his boldness and energy and repels us with his willingness to place us in mortal danger, suspended over pits of snakes. "

(John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance , 56-57)

How very true this is in my own walk with God.  It is not safe at times and I have felt "suspended over pits of snakes" more often than I would like to recount.  But, no matter what has happened to me in my life, and what continues to happen, my heart is always drawn back to Him.  He is still my Hero and still my Rescuer and Deliverer.  My life is His.  And I am grateful.

Heart of Hearts




Heart of hearts

My deepest voice

Someone tried to steal

You cannot have the heart of me

No matter what you will



I am strong and I am true

My heart rises above

Your nothingness

Your silenced voice

For I choose a path of love



Heart of hearts

My deepest voice

It has now been found!

For it has all along been here

And let my voice resound
 
written by Lisa Parkin

I will not die an unlived life

I will not die an unlived life.

I will not go in fear
of falling or catching fire.


I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
To make me less afraid,
More accessible,
To loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.


I choose to risk my significance.
To live.
So that which comes to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom
Goes on as fruit.

Dawna Markova

How tempting it is to stay anchored in the harbour.

Safely secured to the familiar dock.

On the days the sea is calm and smooth,

It is easy to pull up the anchor and sail,

enjoying the gentle breeze in your hair

and the sun on your face.

But even when there are storms at sea

We are still meant to venture out,

to ride the waves

and even overcome them.

Because it is then that we learn

that we have what it takes.

Our boat is strong,

and our abilities to navigate rough waters,

are even stronger.

And sometimes it is in the midst of that storm

That we see the sun peek through the dark clouds

and the beauty of the contrast

takes our breath away.

We wouldn't have wanted to miss that moment

for all the world....

But if we would have stayed in the harbour,

we would have.

"Emotional maturity is one of the greatest achievements of psychological awareness.  It is the antithesis of emotional immaturity, which expresses itself whenever it wants to, in whatever fashion it feels like, no matter what the consequences.  Hysteria, pouting, manipulation, whining, withdrawal, sarcasm, attack - all these are forms of emotional immaturity.  They show that the person enacting them is still emotionally young, still not strong enough to act maturely.  When we are emotionally mature, on the other hand, we know that the world does not revolve around us, that solutions to problems, whether circumstantial or emotional, take time and will not necessarily come in exactly the form we imagined.  Emotional maturity has patience, knows when to hold it's tongue, and when to offer a comforting word.  Emotional maturity is a fine art."

Excerpted from A Garland of Love: Daily Reflections on the Magic and Meaning of Love by Daphne Rose Kingma

Courage

“Conscience is the root of all true courage; if a man would be brave let him obey his conscience.”

                                                                James Freeman Clarke

Psalm 121

I lift my eyes to the hills
From where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
He who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time on and forevermore.