So.... I'll be 40 in a couple of days. Weird. But, good. I remember having a bit of a "downer" with turning 30. I think it had to do with feeling a loss of my youth. Yet, the funny thing is that I don't feel that at all this time. I feel good about turning 40. I think that, for me, there are so many things I appreciate more about this stage of my life than when I turned 30. I am so much clearer about my priorities, my boundaries, and basically who I am. I am much more comfortable with who I am. I'm not nearly so concerned about what people think or whether they like me. I am so much better at figuring out when I need to say "no" to something or someone, and then actually doing it. I have also done a lot of "pruning" in my life. I have sorted out what needs to be there and what doesn't. I feel very confident in my career and I love what I do. I am at the stage now where I can still enjoy learning, but I can also help mentor and teach others. This is something I really enjoy. My family life is at a stage that has lots of benefits as well. Parenting teenagers may be more emotionally demanding than parenting little ones, but it is absolutely less physically demanding. My kids sleep in! They are pretty independent and help out around the house. There are bigger worries with what happens in the lives of teenagers, and sometimes I struggle with that. But, I have to fall back on trusting that my kids have been learning the values we have taught them and that they have the ability to make good decisions. And, I fall back on my faith. It sure helps to believe there is a loving God who is even more interested in the well being of my children than I am. The other thing about raising teenagers is that with their busy social lives, Darrin and I get more time together as well. We start to get little glimpses of what the empty nest years might be like. Although I am not anywhere near ready for that, it is nice to see that there will be things to look forward to in those years.
It's not that there are no struggles or issues at this stage of my life. Life is just full of struggles that often come at us unexpectedly. But, I'm also at a stage of my life where I find it a bit easier to see that even the struggles are ok. There is always learning in them. And, fighting them sure doesn't help or change things! Sometimes you just have to accept "what is" and focus on what you can change in a situation (which, pretty much is just yourself and how you respond to things).
Anyway, life at 40 is good. I am thankful.
And just as Hot (nah....hotter!) as when we wedded on August 18, 1990 (3:30 p.m.).
ReplyDeleteAmong a thousand things I appreciate about you as you turn 40(the most important things are shared only between us), one of them is that 40 has rolled in on you very gently, graciously, and humbly, as though it were on tip toes and instinctively sensing that it had better approach you with fear, trembling and ONLY with permission so as to find its' small place with a woman of such class.